I have missed writing- but I have wondered about the new boundaries for blogging since getting married in August. My job (nannying for two babies) is challenging in logistical ways, but it doesn’t provide much fodder for thought during the day- unless “how can I create a rotation for electronic toys so there aren’t always fifteen songs playing at once” counts as a mindful endeavor. Rather, most of what I have reflected upon the past few months has been related to the ethos of marriage, what our marriage is and will be, my identity as an individual who is married, and the identity of my new husband and how I can know and love him. Last night we had a conversation in which he encouraged me to write and shared his perspective on ‘writing as disclosure’… so here I am. Ready to disclose and maybe he’ll be sorry he said that (just kidding).

There has been an undeniable blessing in the transition period of this time. I have undergone a sort of inversion of life in Connecticut… a mostly lonely job and more solitary living conditions (besides the hubby, of course)… with crowds of people EVERYWHERE, always pushing, honking, looking down and plodding on (or wrapping scarves around their faces and plodding on). I miss the stream of meetings with students, retreats and weekly meetings with everyone together, and having much involvement in many lives. Yet I am more deeply involved with one life than I have ever been with anyone. I am more disclosed to ONE person than ever before, more appreciated, more known. AND I get the opportunity to be that involvement, disclosure, appreciation, knowledge in concentrated form for another- a ministry for a lifetime.

I did not embrace this at first, but I am ready to thank God for designing it that way. I have already learned so much more about myself and about Joel and we continue to learn. We create traditions, weekly chores, an understood schedule- we are creating family as best friends. I wish I could tell my engaged self how much deeper it would get- at the time, it was hard to imagine.

I am definitely even more excited about being married to Joel now than I was the day of our wedding. And though I have yet to find a passionate love for Chicago, I am ever so thankful that God placed us here to get rooted together.

Where did I go?  Well, I’ve been settling in with Joel, continuing to straighten up our new abode, taking pottery classes, teaching kickboxing, crawling- then walking- then running- around with two one year olds …and learning many new things about myself.  After 4 months of marriage, I have become very thankful that God has provided this time to get my bearings in Chicago.  It’s been an opportunity to make new friends and regroup for my next step, post wedding-planning frenzy.  It has also been a time of adjusting (gleefully so) to a close distance relationship with my husband- who, with his new job, now gets home in time for dinner every night!

I have been thinking and praying about what to do next.  I am very hopeful about having an opportunity to be on staff with RUF at some point in the future, when our plans place us in the right geographical location.  At the same time, I am trying to mobilize wise decision making skills and think about what I would do were that not the case, either temporarily or for a long period of time (like right now, for example).  What could I do that would recruit that same skill set and passion from me that would be more widely marketable?  As a result, I have decided to do some research on Masters in Social Work and Masters in Counseling programs in Chicago.  With Joel’s new job, we are thinking we will be here for at least a couple more years… so I might as well take the opportunity while he is working to go to school, right?  Turns out MSW programs are SUPER flexible and broad… you can basically do anything pertaining to non-profit management or direct client care, depending on how you shape your internship experience.  The internship experience in and of itself is very appealing to me, as it would give me the chance to explore working with different populations (other than college students) and in various types of nonprofits.

Meanwhile, I am thinking about taking a few counseling classes from Westminster Seminary through distance education and enriching my knowledge base and methodology from a Biblical perspective that way.  I will have to be self- motivated in order to accomplish this but I think it may be a better strategy than simply getting the MA in Counseling and being more narrowly qualified simply to working one on one with clients in a mental health setting.  The trick is getting this one on one client care training while being widely trained… Of course the trick is also getting admitted to a program .

I am IN Chicago, BACK from the honeymoon, I am MARRIED to Joel and we have SOFA (ok, one of those things might not be quite as significant as the rest!).

It is WONDERFUL!! I am so very grateful to the friends who encouraged me through engagement with the hope that the state of matrimony would be better- how right they were. Joel is still working long days and weeks but I get to have breakfast with him! And see him EVERY weekend! We are very thankful.

I am praying about my next phase of employment. This afternoon I was hired at a local gym for fitness classes but for the next few weeks this is going to involve simply taking classes there and seeing how they do things. I’ve had quite a few interviews for various things and find myself just waiting to hear about decisions so that I can make my own decisions. If you know me, you know that waiting may be my number one challenge ever (!!). But in the meantime I’ve had plenty to do with setting up our apartment and exploring the neighborhood.

Much of the months before the wedding were spent in a kind of fog for me… I am now coming into the light and I feel hopeful and ready to look forward to our new life together in and for the kingdom of God. I am so thankful to be settling in.

TWO more days until I am Mrs. Joel Avila!! The reception is all set up and the flowers are ready to be arranged. I can’t believe it’s finally here!

Look at that new header!  Since I moved my stuff to Chicago two weeks ago (although it doesn’t really feel like I’ve moved myself quite yet), I figured the blog should reflect that.  We have a great apartment in a cool neighborhood and I’m so looking forward to enjoying the city.

This week the task at hand is keeping pace toward the wedding, with *2* weeks to go!  Many last minute details have been accomplished (thank goodness!) but some are still to do.  I am very proud of my crafty resourcefulness with regard to everything I was able to create myself- my hairpiece (who needs to spend $150 for a custom hairpiece when I made mine for under $5?), cake topper, programs, ‘vases’ and flower arrangements are all being created courtesy of yours truly.  I have totally enjoyed making all of it too!  I keep thinking how weird it is that I am really looking forward to getting my hands on those flowers and putting all the studying I’ve been doing on flower arrangements to practice.  [When the wedding is over, perhaps I'll post some photos on the blog to join bride bloggers all over the world in sharing the ideas I came up with.  It seems like the thing to do as a bride these days.  Seriously- how do you have time to plan the wedding AND broadcast your planning in cyberspace?  That's a feat of multi-tasking that I just haven't been interested in pushing myself toward.]

So in 13 days I will be Mrs. Joel Avila and I will have to come up with some new topics to write about besides RUF!  I am sure there are many adventures ahead.  Stay tuned…